THE UP’S AND DOWNS – THE ROLLER COASTER OF SEEKING ‘HAPPINESS’
“I just want to be happy” – We are often told as facilitators of self healing and growth. I just as often reply “I don’t seek happiness, I seek to be content”. People are often baffled, put off or intrigued when I offer this mild objection to being ‘happy’. What is it to be happy? We always must define terms, always, always always! Happy for most people is a ‘feeling good’ or ‘elated’. Many times the feeling after experiencing pleasure. Most people are seeking this ‘feeling’ to cover over other feelings, such as pain, sadness, anxiety (out of control feelings), fear, doubt, anger, rage, emptiness, envy and even hate. Pushing uncomfortable feelings down IS the problem. It is an outdated outmoded ineffective self sabotaging program to keep you sane growing up around unsane people in a unsane world. But now you can ‘see’ (i.e. perceive) on some level, that something isn’t quite right. The closet door of your being won’t even close let alone lock its so fully of unresolved unprocessed inner conflicts and programming.
I often make references to the movie “THE MATRIX” and highly recommend watching it with a growth mind set viewing it. Think of ‘waking up from denial’ It has great parallels to mental, physical, emotional and moreover spiritual growth. Neo knew, he wasn’t living his own life on some level. He was going through the motions……
something draggggged on him..
something ‘pricked’ his consciousness
something gave him grave conflict and ‘told him’ that there was something – MORE!
Listen to me, there is SO MUCH MORE for you and all of us in this life! We must be willing to take the RED (REALITY) PILL of truth, no matter how hard it is to swallow.
*THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON OTHER THAN WHAT IS BEING CONSCIOUSLY PERCEIVED* IN OTHER WORDS
“YOU HAVE BEEN BLINDED TO THE WORLD AROUND YOU” – MORPHEUS
*THERE HAS TO BE A DESIRE, AN INNER INCLINATION OF THE SPIRIT, TO WANT TO KNOW ‘THE TRUTH’ – STARTING WITH THEMSELVES!
“DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE MATRIX IS” – MORPHEUS (ah, that’s the question, you always have the choice, you ALWAYS have to choose, even if you think you’re not choosing anything, you still are, just passively)
If you haven’t watched the matrix, basically all humans are grown in fields to produce body heat energy for which machines use to survive. The machines created a program to pump into the humans head so they remain unconscious to reality and live in a dream state, for which they believe is real. Now some people, in this dream state, sense, there is something wrong. That the world has been pulled over our eyes. This IS the post traumatic, post hypnotic programming we experience in real life.
PROGRAMMING DENY’S (DENIAL) ‘CLEAR SIGHT’ (PERCEPTION OF REALITY)
This is the analogy: There is both a spiritual world we cannot see and a temporal reality we cannot ‘perceive’ about ourselves because be have been blinded by our own defense mechanisms. Children LEARN by the world around them to shut down their feelings, to not ‘experience’ them because to do so would be so overwhelming for their pre developed coping mechanisms, for their very survival, the mind/body/spirit goes into ‘protection mode’ shutting down what should be a natural and healthy development stage of growth. Here a ‘new’ or ‘altered’ reality fills in the gaps, holes and character behavioral defects that plague us. The programming gives us ‘reasons’ to be angry, to be a perpetual victim, a perpetual bully, to have a sense of worthlessness and shame, to lash out with anger and other ‘reactive’ behaviors. It causes us to ‘seek out’ who wronged us or withheld love and try to ‘redo’ or ‘complete’ that which can never be complete. If your Dad didn’t love you, no matter what you do now, you cannot resolve that which has passed in time! The only healthy response is to ‘see’ the loss’ then ‘process’ the loss by grieving the pain of that loss. A buried loss is still a loss and no matter how much you try to ‘feel good’ – that unprocessed ‘buried’ loss will edge it’s way to the surface, one way or another. What you bury unresolved – grows until it pokes through the thin veneer of your protection devices.
Remember, reactive behavior is conditioned behavior, i.e. taught or learned behavior. It is not ‘you’ that is acting but rather the ‘programming’ acting (driving) through you!
It is a conditioned response (pavlov) for which there is NO ‘space’ for autonomous sovereign action. BAD PROGRAMMING ELIMINATES THE ABILITY FOR SOVEREIGN ACTION because a person can’t override their programming without ‘re-programming’ or better re-learning. The out of control world is working through you. You are subject to your programming and reactive to your environment.
IN OTHER WORDS: YOU’RE NOT LIVING YOU OWN LIFE!
Ever wonder why you are so tired and confused? or angry and discontent? or why nothing ever satisfies or you can’t control your behavior or overrun with negative emotions?
YOU’RE NOT LIVING YOUR OWN LIFE! …YOU’RE CARRYING AROUND A LOAD OF EMOTIONAL ROCKS… That someone pushed on you at an early age.
Ever tell a person that is insecure about their looks they have something hanging out their nose? They ‘react’ in a knee jerk fashion trying to remove the ‘thing’ as quickly as possible, as if knowing it was there was like having your nose on fire! The truth ‘stung’ him and exposed his weakness of self perception as if it were physical. It was merely information of what was true, it had nothing to do with him as a person. Hypersensitivity is the handmaiden of weakness (insecurity about self). Have you noticed how sensitive you and most people are to words? This is a direct correlation to unhealthy conditioning that skews self perception which removes us from reality. It traps us in a daydream word reactive state of being. We are constantly reacting to outer stimuli instead of being lead from within. The former is subject to his environment. The latter is objectively grounded to truth (that which accurately describes reality) which is to say grounded to ‘something greater than himself’ (some refer to as god, or the higher self etc).
Oh, and as a side benefit. When you start seeking what is true, and being true to yourself as a primary objective – you become unmovingly grounded and will posses great inner strength. Bullies, losers, psychic vampires, emotional leeches, manipulators, malcontents, fiends, and tyrants will be repelled by this strength. People you use to fear or resent that entangled you in their ‘crap’ will be astonished at how you are unmoved by their plays on your emotions. Remember, wicked people use your emotions against you- when you are not longer so reactive, they lose their power, because you are grounded from within, you are strong in yourself and unmoved by rude and evil people. How would you like to go through your day and be frustrated about nothing!!? Imagine how much energy you have when you not reacting and jerking all day long to your environment!!!
Take this to the bank: WHEN YOU ALIGN YOURSELF WITH ‘WHAT IS TRUE’ over ‘WHO IS RIGHT’ you are aligning yourself with the creator of the universe who holds perfect truth. And there in lies your power. Get it?
And also: WHEN YOU ALIGN YOURSELF WITH ‘WHAT IS TRUE” YOU WILL ATTACT OTHER TRUTH SEEKERS AND REPELL LOVER OF LIES. More on that in another article.
WHAT IS HAPPINESS? HOW DO YOU DEFINE HAPPINESS?
Is it ‘feeling good’? Is it a ‘met outcome’ that is, ‘getting what you want’ happiness? Is it a ‘fantasy’ you live in your head waiting for reality to match it perfectly? Is it ‘when’ you will finally ‘arrive’ (at this or that, person/money/position) that you will have ‘happiness’. You will note, at EDUCO, we always highlight, exam, and define words and what we pour into their meaning. And what is it to ‘need’ this feeling or to have outcomes met? And i’d like to inquire even further and ask something that is going to hit you more direct EDUCO style: what is it NOT to have happiness? What does that ‘mean’ (define) to you?
To me not to have happiness is great. What?! I know I push the limits and show my inner ‘instigator’ (lol) when I talk this way. Letting go of happiness means letting go of ‘trying’ to be happy, which means letting go of ‘outcomes’, which means embracing life as it ‘unfolds’ and dropping expectations. “Nonsense!” – You cry…”you mean I can’t be happy?, I can’t want to be happy? what’s wrong with wanting to be happy” no doubt your little thinking committee already has me on either on the funny farm wagon of abstraction or on top of a wood pile ready to burn me at the stake for such ‘heresy’ …I mean, doesn’t this dope know THAT’S WHAT EVERYONE WANTS IN LIFE IS TO BE HAPPY?!!……yes, and I put forth, that is why most everyone is miserable!
Happiness is a by-product of living right and true to yourself. It is not something one should seek as a primary life objective. It is an effect of a deeper cause. It is ancillary. It’s like drinking a sweet drink – it’s tasty – but it doesn’t nourish, it doesn’t satisfy the bodies need to be repaired, grown and sustained. But it tastes good. So you keep looking for that ‘taste’ while you body grows weak. Your life needs purpose, direction and meaning to nourish the soul. Seeking that which is right, true and virtuous aligns you to the ‘source’ of all things, exposing your weaknesses, showing you what is true about yourself then healing and building character that is rock solid. When you seek Happiness first, it is like riding that roller coaster..what brings you up (this vehicle of ‘willing yourself’) will bring you down. Then you ‘need’ to be made ‘happy’ again by something outside yourself. If you need to be made ‘happy’ by something external, you will always be dependent on your external environment to make you ‘something’. Oh, and it will….it will ‘make’ you all kinds of things like a boat tossed in a sea storm with a hole in your ship. You’re constantly taking on your environment, weighing you down, lifting you up only to crash you down again, making you need that ‘uplifting’ feeling even more. You feel desperate so you give up, you get tired of giving up so you try again, harder only to fail again. If you can see this about yourself, if this is resonating, there is hope.
YOU DON’T NEED PAIN KILLER IF YOU HAVEN’T BROKEN YOUR LEG ANALOGY
Think of Happiness as the pain killer to you discomfort. Think of thinking about Happiness as the distraction to your inner conflict. Think of ‘seeking happiness’ as a grand journey of distracting from your present life, your present reality. If you don’t have a broken leg, you need pain killer – get it? When you learn to be content with life, that is, you have learned to appreciate each passing moment, whether painful, joyous, serious or light, as enough. You become the grounded in the present moment, NOT NEEDING anything to make you complete. As character defects, fears, hang ups, unfinished business is worked through, and resolved in a healthy effective nurturing manner (growth of the true self), you lose you NEED to be MADE HAPPY by some EXTERNAL circumstance (people, places and events). Being in the moment. We will talk a lot about this at EDUCO.BIZ because it’s a central theme. Being in the moment means being ‘present’. Being ‘present’ means being conscious. Being conscious means you are NOT drifting away in some endless mental chatter that is giving rise to feelings which in turn give rise to more thoughts sucking you into a day dream of alternate reality where you are god. This is hell. If you are waking up to this, you are starting to see that your life has become a mess and your unmoored from anything concrete. That’s because you are living in your own thought-based feeling provoked alternate universe that is driven by a need to avoid deep inner truths about yourself – that you’ve tried to erase or cover over or bury or put on or paste smile over and it’s not working.
It’s time to come out of there and find true life that leads to more life and good living. If you truly want to be happy, if I could use ‘their’ word, you must come out of the post traumatic post hypnotic daydream thought state of avoidance. It is time to first ‘see’ what is true, for the truth will set you free, if you don’t freak out and try then to roll up your sleeves and fix yourself. FIRST – learn to ‘see’ by slowing down, meditating, observing, watching….watch you own reactions to certain life events or perceived slights, or even just tripping on a sidewalk crack. How do you respond?
Have you ever pulled back, watched yourself and have seen how utterly predictably reactive you’ve become?!
LETTING GO OF OUTCOMES = THE PATH TO FREEDOM
This leads to another basic EDUCO.BIZ principle: LETTING GO OF OUTCOMES! I know, I know. Now where is he going with this. IF you want to ‘feel happy’ (i.e. be content) you have to let go of outcomes, that is ‘expectations of how you want reality to unfold’. It’s failed expectation that brings you down. Drop the expectation and there is nothing to ‘fall’ (feel) down from. You pursue you life interests AND let go of the outcome at the same time.
Healing freedom and contentment are just outside your reach – we will throw the tools on the ground in front of you and will train you in using them skillfully – all you have to do is be willing….just be willing!
don’t give up. if you are here, you are closer than you even realize. don’t give up. more to come.